


Much Ado About Dasey

by emzyyy



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: F/M, Much Ado About Nothing, mild Lizwin if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emzyyy/pseuds/emzyyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lizzie and Edwin devise a scheme to get their older siblings together.  Inspired by/spoof of “Much Ado About Nothing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This ship has recently found its way back into my heart with a vengeance, so I had no choice but to write a little something. Hope you enjoy!

Lizzie sat on her bed in her socks, mulling over her math homework. She flicked her pencil back and forth between her fingers, trying to keep herself from getting distracted. Luckily for her, Edwin skidded through her door and shut it quickly behind him. He wasn't quite frazzled, but there was still something in his eyes that indicated it was big.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Lizzie immediately forgot about her work, closing her book and pushing it to the other end of the bed.

“Is this a games closet talk?” she asked, equally serious.

“I'm not sure yet.” Edwin ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up just a little bit more.

“Well, spill!” Lizzie smacked a hand against her comforter, telling him to sit.

With a small sigh, Edwin plopped himself on the edge of his stepsister's bed. He glanced again at the door one more time, reassuring himself that it was actually closed and the two of them were actually alone. He then looked straight at Lizzie, giving her full eye contact, before he said in a low voice:

“I think Derek and Casey like each other.”

Lizzie didn't respond. She just blinked.

“As in, _like_ like each other,” he went on, assuming that she either hadn't heard him or was simply in shock.

She tossed her pencil at his head. It landed in his brown tufts with a small _plunk_ and then clattered to the floor.

“Ow!”

“That's not news, you numbskull,” she retorted flatly. She had half a mind to just kick him out and go back to her math.

“So you knew?!” Edwin demanded, his voice raising half an octave.

“Of course, I knew. I'm not blind.”

“How?”

“They say that they can't stand each other, but Casey never stops talking about all the things he's done to her, and Derek practically plans everything he does around her. It's not rocket science.”

Edwin had this strangely crestfallen look on his face, like he had showed up late to his own birthday party.

“Do you think they know? You know, about their crushes on each other?”

Lizzie shook her head.

“No way. They're so oblivious to this whole thing, it's nauseating. They really need to wake up.”

They were quiet for a second, but something changed in Edwin's eyes and Lizzie noticed it right away.

“What?”

“What if all they needed to wake up was a little...cold water?”

She quirked an eyebrow at him.

“See, at this point, I can't tell if you're using a metaphor or if you're actually suggesting that we dump cold water over Casey and Derek's heads.”

Edwin rolled his eyes.

“I mean, what if someone made them realize how they feel about each other?” he spelled out.

“You mean, someone like us?” she asked, giving him a half-smile.

“I feel it's our duty as little siblings, don't you?”


	2. Chapter 2

That night, after dinner, they sat in Lizzie's room and carefully planned for hours how “Operation: Cupid” would play out. Edwin sketched out a crude floor plan of the house, and marked out where they would attack with red Sharpie.

“Okay, so from now on, we refer to Derek as 'Monkey' and Casey as 'Cat'-”

“If Casey's a cat, does that make you a kitten?” Edwin asked with a smirk that would rival his brother's. Lizzie socked him in the shoulder.

“ _'Tiger'_ ”, she edited, narrowing her eyes at him. “Derek is 'Monkey' and Casey is _'Tiger.'_ ”

Saturday was the perfect day to push their plan into action. George had to work, Nora had taken Marti to a checkup at the doctor, and Derek had gone out for some impromptu hockey practice with they guys. Casey was the only other person in the house, pacing back and forth across the house as she did the laundry. Edwin and Lizzie sat silently on the couch and leafed through the magazines left lying around, trying to look otherwise interested but exchanging glances whenever Casey wasn't around, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

As Casey headed back towards the laundry room for what they presumed was the last load, Edwin winked at Lizzie, and then lifted his head up a little taller, hoping his voice would carry.

“Hey, you won't believe this,” he declared loudly, but not too loudly (the last thing they needed was for Casey to get suspicious).

“Won't believe what?” Lizzie answered in a matching volume.

“Derek told me that he has a _crush_ on _Casey_.”

Immediately after Edwin ended that sentence, they heard a messy _clatter_ behind them, like one of the kitchen chairs had been knocked over. They both took a daring glance over their shoulders to see a whisp of brown hair disappear behind the wall and a hand clenching the molding of the doorway that led into the kitchen. They winked at each other again with glinting eyes. She was listening.

“What?! Are you serious?”

“Dead serious. He's absolutely _nuts_ about her.”

“That would explain why he hasn't gone on a date in _months._ ”

“He said that he can't even look at other girls anymore. All he can think about is _Casey._ ”

“So is he going to tell her?”

“Are you _kidding?_ He's Derek Venturi! Telling a girl that _he's in love with her_ is, like, biologically impossible. In fact, that's why he went out to play hockey today. He said that being left alone with her would be _too much to bear._ ”

They heard a small gasp from where the chair had fallen over.

“Maybe it's easier that way. I don't think Casey would be able to handle the fact that _her stepbrother_ is _in love with her_. She's so _uptight_.” Lizzie didn't really think that about her sister (not completely), but she realized it was necessary to say that to help get their point across.

After that, they heard a small, offended squeak. It was all the two of them could do to keep from giggling.

“That's what I told him! I said, 'Derek, you have to _fight this thing_. She's only going to _break your heart_ , and then this house is going to get even more screwed up than it already is.'”

“But still, the fact that _Derek_ is _in love_ with _Casey..._ ”

By this point, they were walking up the stairs, praying that Casey could still hear their conversation from the kitchen. As they reached the second floor landing, they had turned completely silent. They quickly dropped down onto their knees and peeked through the space between the bars on the railing. It hadn't been five seconds before they spotted Casey wobbling into the living room, mouth agape, gripping onto furniture for support. Her cheeks were flushed bright red and the rest of her was ghostly white. She had heard every word.

Lizzie and Edwin pressed their palms together in a silent high-five. On to Phase 2.


	3. Chapter 3

Getting Derek to leave the house was far easier than getting Casey to leave the house. After running hypothetically through every scenario she could think of, Lizzie eventually had to rope Emily in to taking Casey out on a shopping spree, “girls' day out” type thing. She agreed, even though she was still thoroughly confused as to why Lizzie wouldn't give her a reason behind the odd request.

On the other hand, Derek was harder to corner in the house. There were too many variables, and he stayed in his room practically all day. Lizzie and Edwin had rehearsed this part of the plan three times just the night before, and they were confident.

Lizzie stood in the corner of the hallway, holding the door to the games closet and ready to sprint if need be. Edwin placed himself directly in front of Derek's bedroom door, and gave Lizzie a reassuring nod before he knocked. After a few seconds, nothing happened, so he knocked again, this time with the side of his fist. This brought a slow shuffle of feet. Lizzie pressed her back flush to the wall, praying that he wouldn't come outside and see her.

Derek swung open the door and rested his elbow up on the molding, obviously irritated.

“Ed, if this isn't important...”

Edwin didn't pay enough attention to hear the end of that sentence. Discreetly at possible, he leaned to the side and did a quick sweep of Derek's room. His headphones were plugged in and playing a heavy metal song at a deafening volume, but they were perched on the farthest corner of his bed, several steps (and seconds) away. He breathed a silent sigh of relief through his nose. If they had been in easy reach around his neck, there was no way they were going to have enough time to lure him outside before he couldn't hear them. Edwin then smirked up at his brother.

“Dinner tonight's lasagna. Just thought you should know.”

With a hand on the top of Edwin's head, Derek pushed him out of the doorway.

“Thanks for the newsflash. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some 'me time' to finish.” And then the door slammed shut.

After hearing Derek's feet shuffle to about halfway between his bed and the door, Edwin took a couple of steps away and asked, loud enough to be heard through the thin walls, “So what's the _secret?_ ”

“Shh, not here!” Lizzie said, equally loud. She then held the door to the games closet wide open. Edwin darted in, nearly breaking his nose against Chutes & Ladders he was going so fast, and Lizzie followed suit. She didn't close it completely, leaving just a big enough crack for a conversation to be heard in the hall. Edwin yanked on the chain for the light as she listened for the creak of Derek's door. A few seconds later, sure enough, followed by soft steps of sneaker feet. She gave Edwin a thumbs up, and the script went on as rehearsed.

“So what's the deal? You have to tell me!”

“Okay, but you have to promise that you _won't tell Casey that I told you._ And you _especially can't tell Derek!_ ”

“I swear.”

“Okay...” Lizzie took an audible gulp for effect. “Casey told me that she thinks _she has a crush on Derek._ ”

“What?! _Casey_ have a crush on _Derek?_ As in, _Venturi?_ I don't believe you.”

“No, it's true. She told me the whole thing after dinner last night. She's been having _dreams._ A _lot_ of dreams.”

They could hear more footsteps. Was that a stumble?

“At first, she thought she was going crazy, but she finally realized that _she's in love with him!_ She has no idea what to do.”

“Well, she can't tell him, that's for sure. Just think about it. He _hates_ Casey. If he found out she was _in love with him_ , he'd break her heart! Crush it into a million tiny little pieces! _Just for fun!_ ”

“I know this is _Derek_ we're talking about, but he really wouldn't do that, would he?”

“Lizzie, I've lived with him longer. I know what he's capable of.”

After that, they both kept quiet, listening to the footsteps slowly fade away from earshot. Lizzie poked her head out of the closet, signaling with her hand for Edwin to stay inside. She could see the back of Derek's head trudging down the stairs, picking up speed as he reached the bottom. She walked out and stood on the landing, watching him pull on his coat with shaky hands. His eyes were tense with bewilderment. He yanked at the zipper of his coat, which seemed to be stuck.

“Where you going, Derek?” she asked down to him, trying to remain nonchalant.

“I need some air,” he answered quickly, an unusual rasp in his voice. He finally left the zipper in its haphazard position and headed quickly out the door, letting it swing closed.

Their work was done. Now they just had to wait.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again, Lizzie was in her room, trying to get her schoolwork done, and, once again, Edwin burst in and interrupted her, this time grabbing on to her wrist and pulling her out into the hall.

“Tiger's on the move! Tiger's on the move!” he whispered harshly, his eyes wide.

Lizzie moved as fast as she could, trying to regain her balance. She saw a hand that was far too feminine to be Derek's shut the door to his bedroom. The two younger siblings threw themselves down onto the floor and pointed their ears toward the tiny slat between the door and the jamb and only breathed through their noses.

“What's up, Princess?” They could hear Derek fiddling around with his guitar.

“...I need to ask you something.” Casey's voice was far less steady than his was.

“Never stopped you before.”

Casey was silent for a full ten seconds before she blurted out, “Do you have a crush on me?”

A rather sour F sharp came from the other side of the room, and there was another long pause.

“Do I... _what?!_ ” Derek's voice came out like a strangled cat.

“It's just that I heard Lizzie and Edwin talking and-”

“No, no, no, wait a minute...” They could hear Derek roll off his bed and move closer to Casey. “Because Ed and Lizzie said that _you were in love with me!_ ”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Completely gaga. And they said you were having 'dreams' about me.” The air quotes could be heard on the other side of the door.

Casey huffed. “Well, they said that you were just _nuts_ over me, and you've been purposely avoiding other girls because of me.”

“Okay, _that's_ the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day.”

Lizzie bit down on her knuckle and glared at her stepbrother, who's eyes were equally concerned. This wasn't part of the plan!

“You know, I knew you were messed up, Derek, but this is a new low. Even for you.”

“ _Me?!_ Well, look who's talking, Little Miss Perfect!”

Then they were both quiet. All Lizzie and Edwin could hear was the sound of them breathing. It was that heavy breathing they always did after having a fight, but it was somehow...slower.

“So you...don't really like me?” Casey asked at last, vulnerability poking through her voice.

Derek audibly tripped over his tongue for a moment, and then spit out, “Well, I-I mean...you don't like _me_ , right?”

“I...”

And then there was a pause. A long pause. A ridiculously long pause. Edwin and Lizzie glanced at each other, silently asking _do you think they killed each other?_ When, startling both of them, the silence was broken.

“ _Mm..._ ”

Both of their eyes were wide as saucers. Lizzie shifted slightly and squinted so she could look through the tiny slot. Her jaw would have dropped clean off had it not been attached to her skull. She pulled on Edwin's sleeve to make him come look. He leaned over and screwed one eye shut, but after he saw what was happening on the other side of the door, it came wide open again.

Casey's hands were weaved through Derek's hair with a fierce grip. Derek had his arms wound around Casey's back, pressing her as close to him as possible. They were kissing. No, scratch that, they were _making out._

Casey McDonald and Derek Venturi were _making out._

After Edwin let out an uncontrollable squeak of shock, Lizzie yanked on the collar of his shirt, pulling him up and practically burning the rubber in her shoes to get them back into her room before the _new couple_ caught them.

Once they were inside, Lizzie leaned back against her door, locked it, and then sank down.

She had basically thrown Edwin onto her bed. His arms and legs were sprawled out like a dead cockroach. Then, he leaned himself upright and said, with a heave of breath, “Mission accomplished?”

Lizzie took a gulp of air and nodded at him.

“Mission accomplished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Don't be afraid to comment!


End file.
